Breaking up is hard to do. Whether you find yourself dumping your beau or you’re the dumpee, parting ways is tough to deal with. It should go without saying that you don’t need to announce this split on social media, and don’t eat your feelings. Or drink them. Vent to your girls and avoid the bloat at all costs – oh, and follow the rest of this list to tear off the relationship band-aid in one swift rip. You’re welcome.
1. Don’t Listen To Adele
If the artist emotionally moves small children, it will make you curl up into a ball and play back every mistake you’ve ever made in your past relationship.
2. Don’t Be The 3rd Wheel
Don’t go out with your bff and her bf if you’re just going to be the third wheel. The wound is fresh and throwing salt in it may have been the cure in the pioneer days, but in 2016 that’s just cruel.
3. Don’t Go Crazy On Your Ex
Any energy spent on an ex is energy wasted. Channel all that pent up sass into a new project, your job, or a workout. You’ll need the energy to get back on your ’emotional feet’ anyway.
4. Don’t Cry At Work
Nothing says “I’m emotionally unstable and can’t quite ‘adult’ yet” than bawling your eyes out in the office bathroom. You just lost your lover, so now is not the time to add your job to the Loss List. Unless you’re Oprah. Then you can do no wrong.
5. Don’t Hold Onto His Things
Holding on to physical objects after you break up can really twist the knife. Plus, what’s more weird than having your first rebound hookup? Having your rebound find your ex’s underwear in your bedroom. Yikes.
6. Don’t Force Yourself To Date
They say dating is like ‘riding a bike’ but we beg to differ – especially if you started dating pre-Tinder era. Unless you’re ready to get back out there and can say you love yourself, swipe left until you hit Channing Tatum.
7. Don’t Stalk Him On Social Media (Or Otherwise)
Want to stay up until 5 a.m. behind your computer glow? Then stalk away. You’ll figure out who he might be talking to and which chick has pounced since you two split. What will be will be (whether you’re witness to it or not), so block the man if you can’t stomach it!
8. Don’t Text Him (The ‘Oops Wrong Text’)
There’s an app for that! But really, if he wanted to chat, he’d send a text your way. Otherwise, you’re digging yourself a deep hole filled with tears and sexts you’ll regret.
9. Don’t Expect Him To Come Back Around
We can all be hopeful that boys will transform into men in a matter of months, but don’t put all your eggs into the ex basket. Don’t miss out on new opportunities to have a better or healthier relationship with someone else. (e.g. Channing Tatum)
10. Don’t Seek Revenge
Being bitter is easy, especially if you were the dumpee. Your mind may go from punching him in the face to keying his car in a second, but let’s remember that the best revenge is success you independent woman, you.
11. Don’t Beg!
If this is even an option in your mind: We. can’t. even. Any man who expects you to beg or pushes you to the point that this is remotely OK, is not worth your time or words. Walk away.
12. Don’t Blame Others
So your boyfriend was steered away by another woman? His mother didn’t like you? It all comes down to his opinion and his actions. Unless he’s a manchild, he should defend your relationship to the end. Or you two weren’t a good match to begin with, and to that we say ‘good riddance.’
13. Don’t Immediately Book A Trip or Overspend
If you decide you need to distract yourself with enough material items that’ll put you in debt, you’re digging a hole that’ll be tough to climb out of. Take care of you and your emotional self first.
14. Don’t Hibernate In Your PJ’s Forever
Though you shouldn’t overspend, make it a point to get out of bed, pause your Netflix binge and for the love of all that is holy, take a shower. Get out and spend time with friends and family. It may be hard at first, but it’ll fuel you to look forward to something though the future may seem cloudy right now.
What would you avoid after a breakup? Dish it out in a comment below!