One of the most toxic things to experience in a relationship (aside from any type of abuse of course) is cheating. It can rock your world mentally, make you fade out emotionally, and affect your physical well-being. Also, it just plain SUCKS. So what should you do if you suspect your boyfriend of cheating? Here are the 5 things you should do if you think he’s cheating.
1. Keep Your Finger on the Pulse
Don’t go running for the hills just because you think he’s cheating. Putting him out or leaving him will leave your suspicions unresolved, and that’ll make any chance of working things out in the future even harder. As long as you can keep your finger on the pulse of your relationship and what he may be thinking or doing, you have a chance to gather much-needed facts.
2. Confide Only in People You Trust
This means you should only discuss possible infidelities with someone you can count on – not your family, not his family, not any mutual friends and definitely NOT social media. Rallying friends/family you have in common to your side can get very messy. And let’s say it turns out he ISN’T cheating – people don’t forget! Your doubts can come back to haunt you, so be cautious.
3. Talk it Out
If you think he’s cheating, you should try to talk it out with him. Instead of passing the blame or demanding an apology about something you’re not 100% sure of, ask him to be as open as possible about how he feels. But beware, girl. It’s likely that his truths can be super painful to hear, but either way, it’s worth knowing than staying angry forever.
4. Decide Whether You Want to Stay or Not
He cheated. He didn’t cheat and just prefers to work late instead of coming home. He became a lot closer with one of his best guy friends. He’s putting more hours in on a business he believes will make you both financially comfortable. Regardless of his answer, you need to decide if this is the type of relationship you want. If his time away concerned you to this extent, it’s likely you don’t prefer a relationship where he spends less time with you and that is OK!
5. Try Counseling
If you want to learn how to communicate, and allow your relationship to continue, rebuild or grow, counseling can level the playing field. With a professional third party involved, you both can learn to forgive, let it go and move on. If that isn’t enough for either of you, and trust just can’t be rebuilt, it’s time to move on! Forgiving someone is a choice.
So what if these 5 steps don’t help? Putting in months of hard work sometimes isn’t enough and is way too emotionally taxing. If it’s not worth the heartache and time it’ll take for him to regain your trust, break it off and do you girl.
Have you ever been cheated on? What would you tell other women who have been cheated on? Comment below!